Send him the recording or leave it on his voice mail. The more you surprise him this way, the more excited and delighted he will be. And the healthier his levels of testosterone will be. Through gifting our man the freedom to respond to beauty, he will find a new sense of novelty within his relationship, finding us all the more attractive and desirable. What about this idea of understanding men feels off to you?go
Does a 'Wandering Eye' Mean a Husband Will Cheat? Science Says No. | Fatherly
I love creative ideas and useful insights. Have you ever talked to him about this? Unless a sexless marriage is what people want to have? It is scary. It goes against everything we have been conditioned to understand about ourselves and relating. It just means they are looking. The more we resist this natural expression, the more we create drama and pain around it. The article is to support women to lean into this scary, painful, uncomfortable topic and to breathe. Perhaps in taking the time to look at our fears and pain, we can discover more of our own power and create even more beautiful connections with our partner.
This is the dumbest thing I have ever heard! Do not send him stuff with other women instead do what I do. She has someone and I look at and check out men in front of him when he does it to me. I flirt in front of him so he knows what the concerns are. Plain and simple. Hi Rosemary, sounds like you have a fun and spicy relationship. This article seems to generate a lot of emotion!! We need to look at this together. By understanding this part of our nature and harnessing it, we can enhance the eros in our relationship.
Again, how this is done depends on the couple. Thanks for sharing your passion with us Rosemary! How about just demanding respect instead of following this advice. Ladies you would be surprised how hot men will find a woman who stands up for herself instead of being a doormat as advised in this article.
Hi Ally, thanks for your comment! However, I understand this particular topic is triggering for many. Even if we are in a vibrant, healthy, respectful and expressed relationship, we still will need to face this issue. AND… I appreciate your point because it is crucial we respect ourselves and choose accordingly.
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I agree. I am big on respect goes both ways. And I am certainly NOT going to encourage him to check out other women. I resist. Not a big deal to me. There is no man that appeals to me more than what I have. They can, and they should if they value their relationship. Hi Angee, thank you for your share! Again, I think this is cultural. In fact, I believe that when we resist or ignore the nature of people because women also look , then we create what we fear.
So yes, no respect, no playfulness. Amazing the wide range of emotion this evoked in me. I guess good job touching a hot spot. You are a part of the problem. Therefore men will always want to maximize chances with ass many women. Men who have much testosterone will succeed in this, thus making them more wanted by other women.
Men who are in a long relationship will be bored eventually, unless the woman does things like the author describes to keep it exciting.
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Therefore, great article. Modern men need to control their urges! How is this a healthy relationship? What we are talking about here is being playful with your partner. There are so many levels to this conversation. My intent was to invite women to understand their partner and to join them in the discovery. AND… each one of us knows whats best for ourselves. I tell you what happens, they want to act out the fantasy. Never settle for anything less. Well Christine, thank you so much for your honesty.
Is that true? Food for thought! Yet, in the past, when I tried to control this, I actually experienced the full betrayal of my heart. And also because this asks us to really love ourselves, to really know our own worth, to voice our boundaries, and to take a stand for this without being a fascist about it. However, there are pitfalls and I would love some guidance if you have any. I found it titillating and it did indeed make him more passionate in the bedroom. Unfortunately, he failed to reciprocate with an understanding that I wanted him to find me beautiful as well and my fountain of giving dried up.
I was happy for him to look outside the marriage so long as he looked at me with the same sort of lust. We argued a lot about it for years. It got even worse and he actually broke my trust by sleeping with my best friend who had been one of the women we had fantasised about together. That was eight years ago but I only found out six months ago.
Now we are trying to build up our trust again and I want to be in the free space we were in before. When we make time for it we still have amazing sex. Do you have any advice for me? Our sweet tender hearts and the dance with Eros. Healing this has more to do with YOU than with him, as hard as it is to admit this to ourselves, we must be willing to take a stance. What do you want? Are you willing to claim that and make a stand for it? Are you willing to be that exceptionally devoted lover to yourself?
Another fantastic article. I point out hot women constantly to my man, and he points out both hot women and hot men to me. He has pointed out that I notice beautiful, sexy women before he does! I now recognize that I am titillated and inspired by sexiness and beauty, too. In observing myself and working hard to transcend old beliefs and patterns of jealousy, low-self esteem, etc, I have chosen to re-pattern myself to total openness and freedom, which in turn has built confidence. Appreciating the sexiness and beauty in others and pointing them out to my man has been a great exercise, and continues to be.
I even visualize my man having sex with these women either on his own or me participating as I wanted to train my mind to find joy in whatever he finds pleasure and joy in. Why should sex be any different? This was an exercise I did for my own freedom and happiness, if that makes sense. By respecting my man as his own sovereign being, our relationship continues to flourish and deepens our bond. By embracing this aspect of him — in finding joy in beauty — and enjoying his joy, our commitment to each other is stronger than ever.
Thank you, Saida. Your book is a must read for all women — and men! How degrading and devaluing and you are giving the green light for it to happen? Good Lord. I so appreciated your comment. I feel as if the love in my partnership is so much that we have to share it. As a very jealous an insecure woman, I just happened to learn something that opened and still is opening my eyes. You could compare it to being outside and seing a nice sandwich being sold. The sandwich might look better, but who knows if it really is? Anna, I adore your comment! So much wisdom. So does my man.
We read erotica and look at the hottie from the corners of our eyes. Men watch porn and their gazes are not as subtle as ours. Which is very good for the women they gaze at. Ever been watched before by one or several men? It does wonders for your arousal and confidence as a woman. First, you are hot woman. Second, I do not mind wandering eyes and never did.
I love to look At beauty as well and if it happend to be a woman so be it. However, being around for very long time, my observation and knowlage proved the wandering eyes do not stop their and man have a fantasy to act on their fantasy and bring it to reality. I have had married man heating on me and working very hard to get me to fulfill their fantasy while all along their wives has no idea their husbands wandering eyes also wandering period. Yes Mar, that is definitely an existing scenario… AND this article is about understanding and celebrating what cannot be stopped — The noticing of beauty.
The more we resist this, the more the allure of it becomes. I would especially b interested in exploring our men doing same kind of exercise for their partners. You did touch on it, but I want more, Girl! There is a 20year difference between us he the younger so I try to support both his journey and mine, and ours together whether or not we remain together; its been some years now too! More power to you, Inspired one X.
Hi Inspired One! Great comments!! He is confident in himself and our connection enough to point out hot men to me. Getting to know and cherish the evolution of our Eros takes time, courage and the ability to be vulnerable. Please let me know the answer. I wonder if we are ALL the divine feminine ofcourse we are!! Female sexuality is a beautiful thing. Could it be? I think it will.
Self love is the way to go.
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This is all very interesting, thank you Saida and all who commented for this rich discussion! LOVE the expanded view you are tuned into. Thank you sweet Saida! Thank you for pioneering this shift too, and for giving me so much to think about with your article X. Thank you for sharing Saida xxxxxxxxx. Thoughts lead to actions. If his mind goes there or yours , then his will body will go there too. Hi Moka! I think you all should get a Freakin Life!!! My man did this crap to me!!
How disrespectfull!!! Are you women stupid? How about him pointing out Handsome men to you? Stop letting men run you life!!! Grow up women!!! Fran, I am approving your comment here rather than trashing it to offer up the opportunity for healing a genuine wound that I see existing with the Feminine and in sisterhood. First of all, please know that you are free to express yourself as you choose in this community, so long as you take full responsibility for yourself, your feelings, your projections, and your needs. Calling other women stupid is not okay. This hardly inspires connection or the openness needed to hear what you have to say.
No one, especially me, has said that men cannot point out other handsome men to their woman. The article is exploring another issue entirely—the natural propensity of men noticing beauty in the world. Why not, instead of lashing out in anger, own your anger and your vulnerability. Own that you are bored sexually in your relationship.
Own that you are frustrated, and mostly likely, also afraid. Perhaps revealing that you let your man run your life and that you are over it would be far more effective in inspiring the rest of us to learn from your experience. That when you are triggered you lash out in pain, and in the end, you feel more alone and frustrated, proving that you are unworthy of respect and love. Show us what it looks like to be an emotionally and sexually integrated woman, how you own your feelings, your needs and communicate them without shaming or emasculating others.
And let us, as a collective of conscious women, hold you and reflect back to you that you are powerful and worthy of love and respect. I completely agree with you, Saida. This has led to nothing but misery for both of us, and feeding my own insecurities about myself. Because at the end of the day, I can only trace every thought and decision back to me, and take full responsibility for my life.
I really appreciate your empowered viewpoint here and openness to beauty. COming from the place of someone who has struggled with this for many years, I completely agree that if women are struggling with these issues, to look within themselves as to why they are not happy, why they chose a man who would disrespect them, and how they can communicate their needs in a healthy way to their partner to co-create a relationship they are looking for.
I do agree with you, i consider it disrespectful to spouse too. By this welcoming our husbands wandering eyes we are closing our eyes to facts letting them do nasty things or having nasty thoughts. Men will always look at beauty. End of story. What we do have control over is our feelings and our needs. Thank you, for your views on the wandering eyes of the male species. I have allowed my self esteem to be lowered because of my men looking at other women. It made me feel undesirable etc. But after reading your views on this matter I understand now.
I love the idea of using our beauty to entice testosterone and to get men to give more love to their women, but I am not down with pointing out beautiful women to my man. I also agree! Also, in my mind I would question myself about what the other women have more than me?
Learning that men are attracted to all beauty is key to understanding them and being in harmony with them. Whether you point out the women or not, he will still notice them. So by pointing them out, you get to partake in the obvious. What we are seeking, as sexually sovereign women, is to be in harmony with both our own erotic nature and that of others. All very stimulating conversation and revealing discussion! I feel that it all condenses down to two factors — besides the hormonal stimulators, is the wanting and action being driven by fear-based ego for personal gratification OR is it being driven by our beautiful being from luminous love?
I choose the latter! This is something I have always done as I often notice beautiful women before men do… I often wondered if a was doing myself a disservice…. I am in a similar field of work with you. I have been following your work for awhile and truly appreciate your encouragement of women embracing their succulence.
On this note however, I have a different experience of the practice of the Sacred Art of Love. Sacred Sexuality is just the beginning of the Art of Love and was designed to bridge us into the receiving and giving of the Divine Blessings of being incarnate.
It is also a conscious way of giving incarnate souls an energetic reminder of the deep satiating experience of Divine Love. I believe that it is our responsibility to fully remember the purpose of our practice so that we have more to offer to help create a bridge from the indoctrinations of our wounded culture to a deeper experience of soul satiation.
I have found that for two Lovers to truly embrace, there needs to be a deep level of trust. Shiina always knew that he was a male, but went along with the cross dressing to please his sisters.
Gradually, the two sisters lost interest in doing that, and drifted away from Shiina. He was Hiroyuki's classmate in elementary school, but the two never interacted much until they entered the same high school. Not many details are given about him, save that he is very caring towards Yuki and has been with her since the beginning of her transition to her correct gender of female.
One day at high school, Hiroyuki was bullied so badly, that Shiina knew that he had to do something. He was the only student who tried to protect and help Hiroyuki, when all others jeered or looked the other way. Alone in the hallway that day, Shiina saw the mocked, vilified, and humiliated Hiroyuki standing alone and afraid, and he knew from that moment on that they were going to be together for the rest of their lives.
It is stated that he was the only one who accepted Yuki for who they were, a teenage female, even before Hiroyuki underwent the transition from male to female. After graduation from high school, a concern for what happened to Yuki prompted him to find out about her at the bar and night club that she now owned and managed. From there, his relationship to Yuki deepened to that of boyfriend and girlfriend. Soon, they began sharing an apartment together.
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