Do As I Say and Not As I Do

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Do as I say, not as I do.

I could talk in sound bites. I was quoted in every magazine you can name, including multiple issues of Cosmo and Men's Health. I made the front page of The Wall Street Journal. But it was an article about flirting in The National Enquirer which quoted me that caught the eye of the producers for Oprah.


I appeared on Oprah eight times. On all of my visits, I had pat phrases for the audience such as, "The problem is the place you start working, not the place you stop working. Once, she even sang the name of my book. My fifteen minutes felt as if it would never end.

do as I say

What Oprah, the audience, or anyone in my life didn't know then was that I had a secret. While launching a career as a "relationship expert," I was going home every night to a failed marriage of my own. My husband and I didn't sleep in the same bed. We only had sex three times in fifteen years.

We rarely shared a meal. Nonetheless, we were deeply attached to each other, would take a bullet for each other, and in some cockeyed way, still loved each other deeply. He was the man who danced me across the living room floor in my pajamas while the stereo played the love theme from Beauty and the Beast. He was the man who climbed into bed with my dying aunt when she said she wanted to rest her head on his belly. He was the man who gave me his silly mosquito net hat when we were hiking, when I'd forgotten to bring mine.

He was the man who never read a word of one of my books, no matter how much I begged. He was the man who would not listen to me talk about my work, no matter how much that meant to me. He was the man who got shoe polish all over our new white couch and refused to put a cover on it or take off his shoes.

I remember crying on my hands and knees as I tried to wash the shoe polish out, and every stroke of the sponge made it worse. Fifteen years of this and I was still stuck. So, I'll tell you what finally helped me decide to leave. I was writing a page book called, How to Stay Lovers for Life. It was designed like a manual, filled with 1, tried-and-true tips to improve your marriage. I tried every one on my husband but none were true for me. Approaching him at different times of the day.

Listening better. Showing more empathy. Using humor. Individual counseling.

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Marriage counseling. Nothing made a dent in our estrangement. Since I was too old for a baby, I even got a save-the-marriage-dog, and then I got another dog just in case. I thought raising a "family" together might help. But I was wrong. Meanwhile, I was counseling my patients with the principles from my book, and they were thriving--leaving therapy to go on with their lives.


They kept getting better while my marriage kept getting worse. I felt like a fraud, and that feeling was making me depressed. When I finished my book, I had to write my acknowledgments, thanking all the people who helped me along the way. I knew that leaving my husband out would be a glaring omission. Schweizer, in the rest of the work, makes similarly-toned accusations against individuals the book focuses on, particularly surrounding political issues such as environmentalism, labor, and taxation.

After the book's publication, Chomsky talked to Schweizer about his creation of a trust fund for his daughters and grandchildren. Schweizer points out:. A look at the stock fund portfolio quickly reveals that it invests in all sorts of businesses that Chomsky says he finds abhorrent: oil companies, military contractors, pharmaceuticals , you name it. In addition, during his publicity tours, Schweizer spoke of Arianna Huffington 's use of private jets for transportation and excessive energy consumption, despite her public pro-environmentalist stance.

Schweizer's book was generally well-received, showing up on New York Times bestsellers list in early and garnering praise from pundits such as Bill O'Reilly. It found Schweizer's allegation that the workers at Pelosi's vineyard were not union workers to be true. The station also reported that the California Agricultural Labor Relations Act prevents Pelosi from assisting her workers to form a union or discussing a union contract with them unless they unionized on their own. The investigating reporter claimed that Pelosi paid her workers more than the largest union winery in the region.


Al Franken wrote to the conservative publication National Review to dispute Schweizer's claims that he does not hire minorities. He gave several examples of minority employees who have worked on his radio and television shows. From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

Do as I Say (Not as I Do) - Wikipedia

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