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How To Have a Happy Marriage
There is a God-shaped hole in each one of us that can be filled only be Jesus. If you want to be filled with wisdom, look to Jesus. If you want to be filled with love, look to Jesus. If you want to have the power to love, look to Jesus. If you want a love that is wise and good and patient and pure, look to Jesus.
Every marriage partner must spend quality time alone with Jesus every day so that He can take away their worries and fears, their doubt and their guilt. So that He can personally tell them how to relate and what to do and what to say. So the first and most important key is Jesus. Jesus is love. Jesus gives us the ability to love. Jesus shows us how to love. The love of Jesus, called agape love, has a height, a depth, a length, and a breadth that only He can give us. The height of this love is that it comes from Jesus.
Love is the greatest gift of His Spirit. Therefore, in order to have this love we have to stay close to Jesus. We have to pray for love that is patient, understanding, kind, sympathetic, forgiving, and pure. The depth of His love is that it loves in good times and bad, in sickness and in health, when things are going badly or when things are going well. This Christian love, loves the unloveable, forgives the unforgivable, reaches the unreachable and touches the untouchable.
The breadth of this love is that it loves everyone friend or foe, black or white, Christian or non, old and young. It loves those who hurt us and disappoint us and speak ill of us. The length of this love is that it keeps on loving, even in the face of trial, rejection, and hurt. The third powerful key to successful marriage is the Eucharist.
The Eucharist feeds and nurtures, strengthens and protects married love. One powerful bit of advice to give to every married couple is to try to go to Mass every day for their marriage and for their spouse and for their children. The more you allow Me to work in you and through you with with my wisdom and love, the more you will love your spouse. There is an old Indian legend that describes the first communication problem between a man and a woman. I come to giver her back to you as I cannot live with her. I do not like all the silence now that she is gone.
I remember how she would dance and sing to me. Her laughter was music and she was beautiful and soft to touch. Please giver her back.
When a roadie met a punk
All of us realize that whenever you put two people together, there will be lack of in-depth communication. Each of us sees life through our own perspective—the perspective of no two of us alike. In fact, each of us sees life very differently at age ten, at age twenty, at age thirty, and so forth. And yet, there are some keys to helping us communicate better.
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Fear of rejection. One of the main reasons for lack of communication is that people are often afraid. They fear that if they take off their masks and showed the real me to their spouse, they no longer would be accepted. Wary of criticism. Another block to communication is fear of criticism if one spouse opens up to the other and reveals how he or she really feels. Family background. Another reason is that many people have never learned in their families how to communicate well. Many families communicate through verbal abuse, through put-downs, through silence, and through constant jokes.
Another reason is that a person is fatigued, burnt our or tired. In such a state, their ability to communicate or to listen is impaired. Distracted and disinterested.
See a Problem?
Another reason for lack of communication is that the person is not interested enough to really listen or want to discuss. Sports, for example, has caused many, many men to become distracted and disinterested in family matters.
The truth is that good communication needs to be learned. There are no short cuts. After all, communication is more than dispensing information. It is dialogue, an exchange of ideas and opinions in an atmosphere of acceptance and understanding. The only real danger is to ignore, deny or refuse to report our feelings…True dialogue is characterized by a sense of collaboration not competition…The only valid motive for dialogue is this desire to give to another the most precious thing I can give: myself in self-disclosure, in the transparency achieved in dialogue.
Into every marriage there comes misunderstanding, hurt, disappointment, and even betrayal and rejection. We are all broken human beings. Every married person should go to confession frequently so that they can be cleansed of all sin and guilt. They they would forgive each other for whatever grievances that day had brought.
Forgive, forgive, forgive. Seventy times seven, forgive.
Twenty Keys To A Happier Marriage
Life is too short to hang on to bitterness and resentment, so forgive. Keep your priorities in order: 1 Jesus, 2 spouse, 3 children, 4 work, etc. The best thing you can do for your spouse is to love Jesus. And the best thing you can do for your children is to love their mother and father. Women should try not to work outside of the home. If they do work, they should try to make sure that work does not interfere with their primary responsibilities.
From time to time, write down a weekly schedule setting aside time for Jesus, your spouse and each child.
20 Key Ideas For a Happy Marriage
With schedules often fragmented today, you need to consciously search for occasions to share your thoughts, hopes, joys and disappointments. There is a time for everything under heaven, especially for fun and enjoying life! God, in His goodness, wants what is best for each of us, and that means finding bliss in the fruits of this life that are all around us.
More often than not, we have to make time for these moments that ultimately give real meaning to our lives. For the truth is that the moments that make life worth living are typically found in the ordinary—and not the extraordinary—events of our lives.
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