How about - spending time, and what that means. Gosh, I even feel the idea of only focusing on the positive is somewhat good, yet also has that dual edged sword effect of protecting our child from real life, robbing them of growth, and leading to the terrible entitlement problem we have in our world! These are tough days for parents, and raising children with high self-esteem is not an easy task, There are a multitude of negative influences bombarding kids today, and Yvonne Brooks' book is a welcome counter to that trend.
Filled with much wisdom and practical advice, this book should be on every parent's to-read list. I only wish my own parents could have read it.
Definitely recommended. This book was very informative! There are practical everyday strategies that I can start implementing in my home now. The author has also provided ways to counteract different problems that may arise while raising children. I would definitely recommend this book not only to parents but anyone who could use some brushing up on their self-esteem.
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Building Your Child's Self-Esteem
Amazon Prime Music Stream millions of songs, ad-free. They notice what makes a parent smile and can work at winning their approval in order to feel a sense of significance. Praise and rewards based on meeting expectations divorces mattering from a core sense of self and being loved unconditionally.
A child can become enslaved to having to be good enough, kind, nice or funny so as to win the warm eyes of their parent. This only fuels insecurity and instability because they must work for significance and are not always assured of a successful performance.
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A quest for significance is an enduring part of human nature. It can only be answered in a child when they have an adult with whom they are freed from having to work at getting their attachment needs met. We can still encourage a child when they need it and show delight in who they are — it just needs to get separated from what they do.
They are times where we were meant to take things for granted and a sense of significance and being valued by someone was one of them. We cannot make them feel like they matter by propping them up with praise and acknowledgment. It is the day-by-day continual messages they see behind our eyes that influence how they come to see themselves.
Children over the age of four should hunger for a sense of significance from their closest adult attachments. It is through caring for them that they come to realize what they mean to us and upon which their sense of self is formed. Children only start to feel they matter if they first have someone they matter to. Deborah MacNamara is a counsellor in private practice and on faculty at the Neufeld Institute.
She works with parents, educators, child-care and mental health professionals in making sense of kids from the inside out.
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So how can we convey to our children that they matter to us? Through the expression of warmth, enjoyment, and delight, which convey we want to be close to them. By guiding them in understanding their feelings and thoughts, making room for their expression and matching words to experiences. Through telling stories and memories about them because they know we remember the things that are significant to us.
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