Turning Point: An Erotic Tale of Female Domination


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A one-night stand is usually a prearranged evening with a dominant known to the submis- sive and whom the submissive has agreed to be dominated by. Life with another person is often a stream of compromises, a division of responsibilities and labor, and a series of consultations, thought-weighing, and decisions. The man hangs the shelves, the woman does the laundry. But what if the man is all thumbs and the woman feels unsafe alone in the basement where the laundry room is located? For some, playing two to four times a month wall be all their schedules and libido!

This takes planning and a plan takes time. For others, a definite once-a-week ses- sion plus little tidbits thrown in during vanilla sex will hardly suffice. You may not want it on your meat and potatoes every night but once in a while it is very enjoyable. The most difficult part of any relationship is getting one partner to open up and talk to the other.

The overwhelming majority of fantasies submitted by the men had some aspect of female domination in them! The fantasies ranged from the soft, sensual surrendering of control to a beautiful and kind mistress to visions of unifonn-clad amazons wielding power over life or death. The Stepping Behind the Veil 7 desire to be dominated is in many men, but communicating that desire is where they have difficulty.

Imagine the level of trust he must have in you to tell you of his desire to be put in bondage, whipped for sexual pleasure, or to worship your feet. So listen to him, support him, and keep up your end of the deal by being the best top to him you can be. The mutual delight in planning out an enactment of sexual fantasies, both yours and his, should inspire a deeper trust between you. If you can share intimate sexual secrets, this new open- ness will enhance your trust in each other that will carry over into the nonsexual parts of your lives.

If you can tell him you want to spank his bottom, and not just as part of an exuberant shagging but as a planned scenario, you can tell him plenty of other things, too. At the proper time, of course. Wouldn't you agree that sex is in the mind? Planning, everyone will agree, first takes place in the mind.

Just like sex. But you knew that. You, with the help of your partner, will be writing the script. Planning is a funny thing. Some dominants, or dominas which is another affectionate but respectful title for the female top , plan and plan and plan to the minutest detail. Absolutely nothing is left to chance. But chance still occurs. A sneezing fit is definitely a mood- breaker but how can it be prevented?

If you are so planned out that a sneeze knocks you for a loop, perhaps a loose plan is better. I am a loose planner and a sneezer myself. But loose or tight, a plan is a plan and you must have one. You are supposed to be in charge here. And planning requires communication. Are you a good, sympathetic, nonjudgmental listener? Are you creative and imaginative? Do you con- sider yourself to be a good actress? And a good director? Are you good at making your thoughts and desires clear?

Can you keep a straight face no matter how humorous his fantasy may seem to you? The answers to these ques- tions may also help you to decide if playing the domina is for you.


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If you are not sure you can pull off the dominant role with any degree of success, there are questions throughout this introduction that will help you decide. Being submissive is a state of mind, not a gender or sex-specific thing, and most people can adopt a submissive pose or stance temporarily, regardless of their sex. The art of domination, with its requisite skills and responsibilities, is a subject that requires educa- tion and guidance. Since the men we are dealing with were taught to be dominant almost from birth, it is we women who need to know how to turn the tables and sexually dominate them.

The basic rules, necessary skills, and emotional outlook for domination are pretty much the same whether you are a female or male top. I think power in itself is sexy. For the dominant, the illusion of power is thrilling. For the submissive, the illusion of powerlessness is undeniably sexy.

Some men submit will- ingly; others put up a bit of a fight. If he fights it could be because he is unsure about surrendering control or he enjoys provoking you so you can punish him. Although the experience is real, the fact that the exchange is not real, or only tem- porary, makes the game erotically stimulating. Along with power come limits. Both yours and his, which are to be respected. If he does not wish to be marked, then it is your responsi- bility to see to it that the marks do not last for more than a few min- utes.

Many have advanced degrees in every- thing from the arts to nuclear physics. Terms for these levels of interest differ from place to place.

turning point an erotic tale of female domination Manual

My per- sonal favorites for these levels are the Glitterati, the Fetterati and the Perverati. Coined by Kevin McCain of London, these three terms neatly describe the dressed- for-it set, or posers; the genuinely interested; and the more advanced and serious players. No stereotyping distinction is made regarding sexual preference or orientation, therefore leveling the field and sorting everyone by their level of involvement and experience.

I, your guide, rank among the Perverati. But who are these people? I don't mean any offense by this; before 1 discovered the underground scene l numbered among the Glitterati myself. Some of you may be Glitterati. It is as good a place to start as any. And at least you have a jump on the wardrobe.

The Fetterati dress like Glitterati and still go to the same mixed club party as Glitterati but Fetterati leave earlier. This is the difference, you ask? Well, to the naked eye, yes. They use the party as foreplay, not as the main event as do the Glitterati. The Fetterati watch the scene as avidly as the Glitterati but the Fetterati watch to learn as well as be titillated.

And lastly, there are the Perverati. The Perverati are the players con- ducting the scenes the Glitterati and Fetterati are so avidly watching. The Perverati can dress any way Lhey like but they usually dress like Fet- terati. Fetish dress establishes their group identity. If you want to learn spiderweb bondage or mummification, the Perverati who often cluster in dark comers and, no offense meant, groups like the Janus and Eulen- spiegel societies are the people to see. How would next Tuesday be? The Perverati are driven by their sexuality.

Then there are the Fetishists, technically classified as Perverati, and the multitudinous ways that they express their fetishes. Or it can be as elaborate as latex bondage. A simple definition of a fetishist is one who has a sexual fixation on a nonsexual object or body part. The Fetterati or Perverati player may have an entire room in their home, or the entire basement in some cases, devoted to their play.

For some, the trappings of a dungeon are essential; the mirrors and matte black walls, a leather encased bondage bench, a stockade, a hydraulic lift to stretch and suspend. To others, the dungeon happens in their minds; it is verbal domination and the presence of the mistress that thrills them and the actual physical setting is unimportant. In yet other fantasies, for example, cross-dressing or foot worship, a dungeon may not be necessary or appropriate.

In this book, areas that 1 think fall into the realm or domain of the Perverati are noted as such. None of these things should be undertaken without guidance or tutelage and direct supervision from more experi- enced players. But being the dominant partner does not mean that you are free to do anything you want to your slave unless he has told you so himself. And what is the likelihood of that? This is his first time. It is a posi- tion of responsibility.

Some slaves will take anything the mistress dishes out; others are very specific in their wants and desires. Real-life respect has a place here. Just as you would expect someone to respect your personal desires, you should accord that same respect and consideration to your slave. Being the dominant means that first you are in control of yourself. The ideal femme fatale domina cart control her slave because she obviously is in control of herself.

She listens to her slave, is his mentor and guide and muse. She understands the fear and eroticism the sub- missive feels during play. The domina always knows fantasy from reali- ty and provides support for her slave. She is enough of a sadist to inflict pain and loving enough to use it only as an instrument to increase plea- sure. She is imaginative and creative, and cares for the emotional and 'ekind ike Veil 13 physical well-being of her slave. She knows that his submission to her is a gift and that his surrender is voluntary. She knows that she has only the illusion of power and is in control with the permission of the sub- missive.

She knows that part of being dominant means pleasing her sub- missive and in that sense, she is submissive to the will of the other. She respects his limits and appreciates the depth of trust he has placed in her and knows that respecting his limits is the basis for trust. This is a chance for you to go on a ninety-minute ego trip and let your imagination and his desires be your guide.

Per- haps a little erotic coercion will help him realize that now you hold the key to his pleasure. As a dominant woman, you will probably exhibit independent behav- ior that will exhilarate you and will be noticeable to those around you. Especially to your less-empowered sisters and to those men who are attracted to your power! The sexually dominant woman does not engage in the codependent behavior that so many of her sisters seem to be mired in. She feels complete as a person when she is alone and enhanced and complemented by her partner, not needy or reliant upon him.

Playing the mistress can help you in all areas of your life because it helps you take control and stay in control. She has a firm grip on the reins of her world and makes the rules in her environment. Now picture yourself being able to consciously direct this aura to encompass the people around you.

For the shy, submission can be a place in time and space and mind where the introverted can shed the chains of daily or social life and soar above the clouds. In submission, he can choose to be whoever he wants and that is usually the opposite of who he is in his regular life. It frees the submissive from feelings of guilt over his sexuality or sexual desires, and removing guilt removes a major stumbling block on the road to heightened sexuality. Many submissive fantasies are exciting specifically because they break some taboo or rule or another.

Relieving him of responsibility for his actions or sexuality will allow him to let go of his inhibitions and abandon himself to the lascivious luxury of his fantasies. But first he has to want you to take control. How does one accomplish this? Commu- nication and trust. In speaking to you of his submissive desires or fan- tasies, he is baring his soul.

He may be telling you things that he has never spoken aloud to another person, and your acceptance of his secret desires is extremely important. Please treat this like the precious gift it is and be prepared to swallow your tongue before you laugh at what he says. Listen to him carefully and try your best to create the fantasy he shared with you. He needs encouragement and support, care and attention. If he is interested in being a submissive, and is not a masochist per se, some questions you may want to ask him are: What does he think his main turn-on will be?

Foot worship? Is there anything he is really afraid of? Being blindfolded? Being tied up? What should you steer clear of if he does? A trigger word? Is he claustrophobic? How does he feel about closets? Submission is the ultimate nakedness: both his clothes and inhibitions are stripped away, leaving him safely powerless. Since both of you want to do this and each knows before- ing Behind the Veil 15 hand what will be considered fun for the other, the pleasure will be mutual.

It is hard to tell someone, espe- cially a loved one, your deepest, darkest sexual secrets. The fear of rejec- tion or ridicule can make the most aggressive, argumentative person hesitant to voice their preferences. Now imagine that your loving mate has mustered up all his courage and comes to you and tells you he is really turned on by your toes. Face it, ladies, this is a harmless fetish and one you can turn to your advan- tage. Think of all the pretty new shoes he will buy you to decorate your exquisite and delicious feet! Toe sucking? I have four different types of fantasies and I would like to think that most people enjoy all four varieties too.

On the fantasy ladder, the low- est rung is the one occupied by memory fantasies. A memory fantasy is when you recall an erotic encounter that has already happened and relive it as it occurred or embellish on it. The second rung on the ladder is composed of the fantasies we know we would like to live out. A fantasy on this rung could include consenting to nonconsensual and pub- lic humiliation. These are fantasies that, given the right time, circum- stances, mood, and company, you may decide would be exciting to enact.

Then there is the top and fourth rung of the ladder. These fantasies are so far out that even though they are lovely to think about when you are 16 The Art of S ensual Female Dominance masturbating being alone you need greater stimulation but you would never want to happen to you. These could be fantasies of rape, deep sub- mission, or branding. If you are relating a third or fourth rung fantasy to him, or he to you, be sure you understand which type of fantasy it is before either of you try to enact it.

Imagine your surprise when he comes home with a piercing, done to please the mistress, when it was actually a fourth-rung fantasy! As a woman, it is much easier for you to express and fulfill your sexual fantasies than it is for a man. All the more reason for you to broach the subject instead of waiting for him to bring it up.

Literature containing studies supporting my anecdotal opinion are listed in the Recommended Reading guide. She went on to say their marriage and lovemaking were still fresh and they were both still very much in love. But the point is, if a woman expresses an interest in fan- tasy bondage, there could conceivably be a line of men down the block and around the corner, ready, willing, and eager to satisfy her desires.

So what I am suggesting you do is open up the topic for him. But there are many ways to approach him. How are you at telling stories? If you are the top, take him captive. If he is the top, describe how you feel about being his captive. Does he like to read? Leave this book where he will be sure to see it. If you see him glance at it, in interest or curiosity, without seeming too eager mention how much fun some of the ideas are or how funny some of the session stories were, or how much you would like to experiment with the ideas. Mark out a favorite passage or two and offer to lend him the book.

Better yet, buy him his own copy! Or rent a fetish movie from the local video shop and watch it with him. But be careful in your selection — some are of a better quality, shall I say, than others? Or you can resort to the time-honored method of introducing it to him gently by holding his hands over his head during your regular love- making while you direct the action from on top. If he moans and gets mushy and cooperative, you might have a submissive tiger by the tail. If he likes that, try tying your scarf around his eyes and see what hap- pens. And watch what that does to the tiger in his pants.

And if he does. If he likes it as much as you do, you have not hung a label on it that may tum him off. If he loves the way you look in your purple bra, panties. If your leather teddy drives him wild, put that on. Or take him to your favorite lingerie store and let him make you a present. Then go home immediately and try it on for him while it is still fresh in his mind and he is eager to see you in it.

Back at home now, dress in your wardrobe of choice, put on your best high heels no flats allowed , fix your hair, and touch up your make- up. Get the music going. Get the candles lit. Position him on the sofa, or in his favorite chair, and make an entrance. Slink out of the bedroom in your new lingerie. Walk your sexy walk and strut in front of him. Tease him.

Make him work for the pleasure of your company and later on, your affections. Act as if you are a goddess and soon he will be believing you are a goddess. You barely have to talk at all! Try donning a sexy nighLie or lacy bra and thong while he is in the bathroom prepar- ing for bed. Or tie yourself to the bed and wait for him. So happy that he begins to dream up scenarios and comes to you with them. Then the unthink- able happens. He presents you wilh a fantasy that is not all that palat- able to you.

Discuss his fantasy carefully. There may be aspects to it that appeal to you, and some minor adjustments to the overall sce- nario might make it workable for both of you If his fantasy is one of the more unusual ones, consider building up to it by sharing other fan- tasies that are easier for you to accept. What if his fantasy is epping Bek ind tke Veil 19 something as mild as being kissed by a woman, possibly in a state of undress under her raincoat, behind a statue in the local museum? And since this one will go so well and he will be so encouraged by your acceptance and imag- ination, he will be willing and eager when you present a scenario that fulfills one of your fantasies.

Again, good communication between the two of you is of the utmost importance. Two words of caution: never, ever discuss this topic while in bed with your prospective partner. If it ceases to be emotionally satisfying for either one of you, discuss the situation in a restaurant or over the dinner table and decide together whether or not you will continue to play. Please listen carefully to the cautions I explain in the chapters where they are necessary. These guidelines have been fine-tuned by experi- enced players over the years and are important. If and when you read other books on Dominance and Submission, you will probably be say- ing to yourself, these people say the same things over and over again regarding safety and other issues of well-being.

Are they lacking imagi- nation or are they plagiarizing each other? That is why we all say them. They are laid out here to ensure that you and your partner will have a safe playtime, both physically and emotionally, and will want to continue to experiment together.

Yes, yes, you are creative and imaginative and articulate. Brenda Starr? Wonder Woman? And someone, or several someones, worked very hard at that spit shine — you could see yourself in it!

She was very good with a bullwhip, too, and very sexy. Or did you want to be Nancy Drew, always tied, gagged, and locked in a closet somewhere, in need of rescue and a strong male figure? When you played cowboys and Indians, were you the one always asking to be tied to the tree? Did you melt when Lois Lane was rescued by Super- man?

Not into fetish wear yourself? Prefer strong women in cotton and linen? Rather wield the pen and investment portfolio than the sword? Everyone has something that can be pressed into service as wardrobe for the executive type. Even a skirt and a crisp blouse will do. The men who like this type of wardrobe are intimidated by a woman in a business suit. And that means empowerment for you. How to play the role? Think of the offices you have worked in; now remember the worst bosses you have worked for.

Roll all of their bad qualities into one and there you are! Wall Street Wild Woman! And the last, but not least, wardrobe choice is lingerie. I have a few drawers of it myself. When all else fails, black, purple, or red lingerie with stock- ings and high heeled pumps will slay him every time. Slink out of the bathroom and lounge on the couch. Put your feet up on him and use him as a footstool. Dressed head to toe in leather, you are the Leather Mistress. Lin- gerie allows you to be the vamp, or the bitch, or the type of mistress who pampers her pets.

Stepping Behind the Veil 21 Don't go for the clothes aspect? Disappointing but not a disaster. Have you ever seen a movie with a female character that you really liked? Did you ever go home and pretend that you were the one dish- ing it with the male lead? The real point here is that playacting, being an actress, even if you are only playing the strong side of yourself, is part and parcel of domination. Are you a good actress, or feel that you could be, if given the chance? This could be it. Still undecided about your dominant abilities?

Are you aggressive during your regular lovemaking? Very good. Do you consider yourself to be sexu- ally adventurous? Oh, quite good. And passionate? Even better. Recep- tive to new ideas? And nonjudgmental? Excited by things that are a little taboo or dangerous? Still yes? By now you have answered several questions regarding how you feel about your communication skills, your latent acting abilities, your pref- erence in wardrobe, and your abilities as a director.

If your answers were mostly yeses but you are more intrigued and excited by being the receiver than the giver, per- haps the submissive role is right for you. Entering the World of Dominance and Submission N ow that you have decided to try your hand at being a domina- trix, there are a few things you need to get started. Second is an open mind about his desires.

Not even if the sight of him with your panties on his head slays you. Lastly is an ability to exercise your common sense. Common sense will tell you that if he turns out to be a foot fetishist, you are not going to be able to stand on his head the first time you play. The Safe Word The very next thing you need is also something you will not have to purchase.

A safe word is what 22 Entering the Vi'orld o Dominance and Submission 23 your slave will say when things get too close to what he perceives to be his limits. Have him say his full name or pick a word that will not come up in the normal course of your play. But any words will do: cupcake, houseplant, whatever. Since your submissive is male, you may prefer to pick a word your slave will feel embarrassed saying. If he is embarrassed about say- ing that particular word, then he will be hesitant to say it.

And you can lest his limits further because of his embarrassment. Again the only cau- tion is to make sure it is not a word you will be saying at any other time during your play. If and when your slave says that safe word, you must stop what you are doing, and I do mean immediately. Even if you are right in the mid- dle of a stroke, pull back and stop it. That word means he has reached his limit. If you do not sLop now, all the trust and new sexual intimacy you have built up may be damaged or destroyed.

Perhaps you can work it through together. Communication is cru- cial before, during, and after playtime, as the scenarios should be play- ful and loving for both of you. I often do it even when I have no one suitable to play with or simply prefer to play alone. Several mirrors located in strategic places through- out the home are strongly recommended for this pastime.

With your new eyes, your dominant eyes, feel yourself emitting a new sexual heat and unbounded confidence. In fact, presenting the proper dominant image is half the battle won. If you are unsure what his preferences are, ask him. He is your slave and should be happy you are gracing him with your divine presence no mat- ter what you are wearing. You are the mistress, after all. You probably have most of those wardrobe choices in your closet already! Red is also a preferred color as it signifies passion and confidence. Purple, denoting royalty as well as pas- sion, is a popular choice. And white, as the opposite of black, is quite acceptable, too.

You are free to wear pink or green or blue but I would stick to the lingerie in that case. I kept looking at it thinking, it would be beautiful in black. Or red. Or purple. What I usually do in that circumstance is to wear lingerie in one of the power colors. That way when 1 take my dress off to tease him when he is helplessly bound; I can tease him in an appropriately hued wardrobe. Black hose should be long and sheer and jet black. Fishnets are also popular with some men because of their rough texture. Garter belts worn with stockings or thigh-highs usually win out over pantyhose.

But 1 can see the appeal some find in pantyhose. It looks like a fine, spidery piece of bondage equipment; the seam in the panty accentuates the crack of your ass so nicely and the way the cotton panty hugs your lips! Boy-ieg panty or French-cut brief inset, 1 can hear the pantyhose enthu- siasts sighing wistfully in the background now. Ambiance So you have ideas about your wardrobe. Now you need to prepare your home. Think about this one. You need to create an atmosphere.

If your house smells like your dinner, open the windows, turn on the fan. Ditto for cigarette smoke smell. Odors except for the delicious odor of sex are not conducive to anything and may well be a distraction. Even if your home has a neutral smell, try burning some incense to add an exotic touch to the surroundings. Lighting is also very important, ladies. Soft, dim, incandescent light- ing is good, candles are even better and the more, the sexier.

Candle- light will add to your mystery as well as take years off your age. And if you are not burning incense, scented candles will lend a pleasant aroma as well as illuminate the room. The next factor is one that many people especially when a man is setting up the scene overlook: the temperature of the room. It may feel warm enough as you stand there all dressed, maybe even in latex, the coldest fabric known to mankind, but how will it feel on the exposed flesh of a naked slave?

Will he be warm enough? A shivering, chatter- ing blue object usually makes an unsatisfactory servant. If you have a fireplace, set him to building up the fire so neither one of you will be cold. Music always sets a tone whether you are at home or at a nightclub. The type of music you select for your playtime is a very personal choice, but be guided by the eroticism of what you are about to do, be guided by the sexuality of it and pick your music appropriately.

Have you noticed no metal music, or disco or country-western songs? The loud vocals, the screaming guitars, the crashing drums, the catchy chorus. It tends to confuse the issue or else you start to sing and lose the mood. The only one who should be screaming is your slave and that should be in deliciously feigned agony.

Who is in charge here anyway? You or Axl Rose? Treasure Hutu! Now to the accoutrement you might want to consider for your first scene. If your partner likes role-playing and asks you to be a teacher or schoolmistress or even a babysitter, formal equipment is not necessary. A wooden ruler without the metal strip on the edge or a yardstick will suffice for the first two, your bare hand will do for the third role! In other words, to intimidate him. Place the collar ceremoni- ously around his neck when you commence playing to denote that he is now yours to command and will remain that way until his mistress removes the collar.

I would recommend stockings or pantyhose, your scarves or his neckties for bondage or gagging; clothespins or a skirt hanger as nipple clamps; sleep mask or a scarf for sight deprivation blindfold ; a wooden spoon, spatula, ruler, or yardstick, hairbrush, sole of your shoe, a Ping-Pong or other sports paddle, or his belt for disci- pline; a piecrust edger or feather or ice cube for sensitizing and tickling and so on. From those examples, you should be able to dig up other household items which can be made into instruments of sensual torture!

Let me ask you a few more questions. Do you like going to adult toy stores? Do you like to browse for toys and vibrators and read the descrip- tions for the shapes and sizes you favor? If you said yes, great. An enormous selec- tion of fine-quality accoutrements, and 1 mean everything from clothes to whips to suspension gear, is available through the mail or the Internet.

You can even order a catalogue from which you can order more cata- logues! One maker of leather goods, a submissive from New York, will come to your home if you have made previous purchases. Although each and every catalogue or toy of an adult nature that 1 have ever received has come very discreetly packaged, some of you many not want to have anything of this son delivered to your home. Still no reason to worry.

Are there any hardware stores near you? How about a riding or equestrian shop? Maybe the chains, or other sorts of hardware, that bind you are what do it for you. All types of hooks, named after the letter of the alphabet it most resembles, are available here, as are eyes hooks and O-rings and anchors to keep them in the walls or ceiling.

Chains, cut to order, can be used with a quick-open hook for those of you who are not good at tying ropes. These can be looped around and under the metal bedframe and pulled up on to the mattress to lie him hand or foot to the bed. I like to put his chains in the freezer for a few minutes just to make him suf- fer. I made my very first spreader bar from items purchased at the hard- ware store. Then I bought those little rubber cups to put on the sawn ends to guard against splinters.


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I screwed eye hooks into each end; this helped to hold the cups on, too. A large eye hook was screwed into the middle in case I wanted to thread a rope through it to his collar or hand restraints. A few coats from a can of glossy black spray paint and 1 had a spreader bar. And no one had a clue as to what I was doing when I bought the stuff. Handcuffs are available at local adult toy stores and through cata- logues.

Rope can be purchased in regulation white at hardware stores and the new sexy' black is available at marine The. Bondage is a very popular pastime and is often indulged in, if you will, by people who are not into any other aspect of the scene. Many dominants like to be put in bondage and switch with their mates. Can you just imagine the fight over it? No, you tied me up last.

Now I want to be tied up. No, me. No, ME. Per- sonally, I love bondage. At one of my parties, a dozen peo- ple literally attacked two pans, thirty-six each, of stuffed shells, four loaves of Italian bread, and assorted sides like meatballs, cherry peppers, and salad. They licked the plates clean. And 1 thought I would have a few shells left over for the next day!

This was after we had steadily been snacking on antipasto, Japanese hand rolls, pate, assorted cheeses and crackers, fruit, and baguettes! Then we had three different desserts, one of them birthday cake. One could hardly say 1 was starving my guests. But the point is, even though, or especially because it is a party for only two, have enough to eat on hand.

This would be the right lime for snuggling and cuddling and sharing a bite; not the lime to jump into one's clothes and run out looking for an open store. Think of a name that makes you feel powerful and beautiful, mysterious and all- knowing. Then people can put things in it. Imagine simply saying your name and having someone stick something in your mouth!

How rude! How sexy! Pick out a name that matches the person inside of you. Then com- pare it to your physical appearance. Does it match? Say it out loud, and imagine yourself answering to the plaintive calls of your slave or being called by that name by others who may come to know you as Mistress. But our fantasy name should not be incongruous with our real appearance. Books of names, fiction works, foreign language speaking friends are all good sources of possible ideas.

The Voice of Authority You have picked out a name that makes you feel beautiful and power- ful, your confidence is up and you truly feel you can do this. What else can you do that will empower you further? I remember reading in Dune, by Frank Herbert, about an order of women, the Bene Gesserit, who used their voices to control those around them. You can. First speak in your normal tone of voice. Then drop the octave, or in other words, lower the tone you speak in. A good dominant never needs to raise her voice.

Cultivate a stem look. Raise an eyebrow. Purse your lips. Look down your nose. Flare your nostrils. Tap your toe. Click your crop against your heel. Drop your voice an octave when you want to get your point across. This is my per- sonal favorite since 1 have a deep voice already. Then stick with that affectation to express your displeasure, or as a warning signal that he is treading dangerously close to disobedience and subsequent punish- ment.

The idea is to quell him with a look. My kindergarten teacher could silence the entire room by standing at the head of the class and raising one, and only one, eyebrow clear up to her hairline! Can you see how this can be fun and empowering for you? Length of Playtime On a more serious note, you need to decide how long your playtime will last. There is more work to it than appears at first glance, even if you are a natural. You, on the other hand, have to think of absolutely everything.

You have to keep him occupied the entire time you are dominating him, or make him feel as if you are. Playing the dominant can be very much like work and you are the one who has to do it. Prior proper planning? This is where they come in, and how long playtime will last is part of the plan. You, as the dominant, can have as many as you like. One, at the end, is enough for him. Another part of the three Ps is the method by which you will train him if he is to be your slave.

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You, as the mistress, are free to give him a beating because it pleases you to do so. Why would he want to be good? Because he will be rewarded, of course! Reward for good behavior and pun- ishment for bad. Your Throne I think it would help your confidence to have a position of authority from which you can survey your domain.

I have used a fan-backed wicker chair, many a black leather armchair or recliner, a high straight- backed chair and the backs of slaves to name a few. A chair has a back at least, if not arms; so to make a real chair out of slaves, you need two of them.

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A third slave would give you a chair and an ottoman, or a foot- stool. A fourth and fifth, an end table and candelabra, respectively. When I was playing at home, my leather sofa the whole thing was mine, the floor at my feet was his had an end table not human next to it. On this end table, 1 would carefully and thoughtfully lay out each piece of equipment I thought I might like to use on him that night.

I would always bring out more than I intended to use, just to keep him guessing. Of course, I made a show of it, passing each one under his downcast eyes before I laid it to rest on the table. I could feel the heat rising off him, see his chest start to heave. He would begin to pant in his desire for me. Then I would giggle. My flesh, my flesh for fantasy. Will you be waiting for him and call him when you are ready to see him?

Will he come to you dressed? Or will he be nude and awaiting your call? If you are to make an entrance, will he be dressed or nude when you arrive? If he is dressed, how will you have him undress? Will he do a nice little striptease of his own design or will you order him out of each garment in a particular order?

Will you order him in a firm yet soft voice or will you be the drill sargeant or the warden or the cop? Think about it before your first adventure because one of these openers may be the first com- mand you give him. Be sure you have his collar or scrap of lace as his symbol of submission on hand and also whatever you have chosen for yourself as your symbol of authority. And since he is undressed, may I suggest an inspection? Many men and women, too! My favorite acceptance ritual was to have him enter my presence naked then stand three or four feet in front of me in Position Two, the inspec- tion stance.

Resuming my place on the throne, I would signal my acceptance of him by ordering him to his knees. Then, 1 would bring out the dog collar or ceremonial scrap of lace to bind him or maybe even the leather wrist restraints that had been discussed earlier. When 1 used this technique to establish my authority, 1 made him kiss the object, be it the lace or collar or whatever else, before I put it on him.

The kiss was the sign of his submission, his agreement to what we were about to do. We both found it to be very erotic. If 1 had a whip or crop that 1 planned to use on him, I would press it to his lips for the same homage before I began. I highly recommend that Position One be the first thing you teach him. If you are at a loss of how to begin, it will give you something to do.

Teaching him this will firmly establish your authority over him and bolster your confidence. If you had fun teaching him Position One, move on to Position Two. This is the one he stood in for inspection but now is your chance to cement your control over him. Correct him as stands there, hands behind his head. Are his arms in the correct position?

Is his chest puffed out, his belly tucked in? Feet eighteen inches apart, eyes down? The Rules Imagine that. Rules, and he must learn them. What are the Rules? Everyone is free to have different rules, suited to their special relation- ship, but rules 1 and 2 remain constant. My rules are quite simple: 1. I always make the rules. It is my prerogative to change the rules at any time without notice to the male. The male is to remain silent at all times unless spoken to. The male may not look upon me or touch me without my permission. The male must execute, cheerfully and to the best of his ability, all tasks assigned to him by me.

If the male is unable to figure out the rules, it is due to some failing or misunderstanding on his part, not mine. Now he knows the rules and positions one, two, and three. How do you know if he is having an equally great time? Well, look at him! Does he have an erection? Is there precum there? Nice and big and hard. Right now I am in the mood for some serious foot worship.

I want to feel long, slow paint- brush licks over my insteps. We will be reviewing positions for grace and accuracy and each misstep will be severely pun- ished. Perhaps you would like to try something a little more physical, a lit- tle more hands-on than inspections, positions, and rules. Some light bondage would be fun now if he is into it.

Foot worship is also good for beginners, as is dog training. Or maybe that beating from the Disci- pline chapter that you have been practicing for so long would make a good finale. You should be expert with all the props you intend to use on him Practice! Coming Down Remember: You have to be keeping an eye on the clock and keeping him occupied at the same time.

This is done slowly and gen- tly — do not thrust him abruptly back into reality. A good way to do this 36 flic Art ot Sensual female Dominance is to tell him you are pleased with him and as a reward you will allow him to do whatever you deem or have agreed an appropriate reward to be. If his reward is to happen right then and there, after he has been rewarded remove his collar with the same ceremony you used to put it on him.

If you want, you can move from the living room, or wherever you happen to be playing, to the bedroom; if you are already in the bed- room, a move to the bed might be just the thing. How is he feeling right now? Ask him. What he needs now' is cuddling, snug- gling, nesting, spooning, or some other physical closeness and sign of protection to strengthen the budding emotional bond between you. He also needs verbal support. Talk about your play. Now what about you? How will you feel?

If all w r ent well, you will be feeling elated, powerful, beautiful, and maybe even a little vulner- able.

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Yes, vulnerable. This is heady stuff you are playing with here, make no mistake. This may be the first time in your life an adult ever totally and completely surrendered control of their body to you for your pleasure and you feel a little lost with this new power.

Top or bottom, people are fragile, so be careful and caring of the soul who is your part- ner. You planned the scene, readied yourself and your equipment, established your authority and accepted his surrender.

Hindi Short Film - Kajal - A woman’s fight for survival in the world dominated by men

Entering the DOorld ol Dominance and Submission 37 inspected him, taught him slave positions, educated him to your rules, perhaps had a more hands-on experience like bondage or discipline, then rewarded him for his good service. An entire playtime passed just like that!

Or you might have different interests with no way to compromise. Or you might be interested in something too dangerous or illegal to actually try out. If you think this might be the case for you, you may still be able to enjoy a few of the elements of power play via your dirty talk. Or you might enjoy reading — or writing — erotica about it or watching some porn that features the elements you like.

For some people, however, being a dominant or submissive is in their blood. On the other hand, sometimes you just need to plan better or try a scene out with a different partner to get the experience that you want. However, you might take to dominating him quite easily. You might find that you discover a new part of yourself when you can be sexually dominant. It occurs on a spectrum. Sure some people want the more extreme stuff or even a small degree of it, but at the end of the day, the key is finding what works FOR YOU. When you do, your connection with your man can deepen, your sexual pleasure can increase, and you might grow as a person.

The subreddit Femdom Community is a great place to meet other dommes, share ideas, get inspiration, and find solutions to your problems. Fetlife is an online community specifically for resources. Many people are interested in dominating their partners, including women, and many others are interested in submission and being dominated.

You just may not realize it because, according to one study, only about 9. Some kinksters consider actively working to prevent disclosure [ 9 ]. Yet another study revealed a number of benefits [ 15 ]:. These relationships can be ethical [ 25 ]. Some people simply participate in BDSM because of benefits that are similar to other unique hobbies such as firewalking [ 26 ]. Finally, one can be dominant or sexually sadistic without actually harming their partners. In fact, some people emphasize that while you may hurt your partner during a scene, you should never harm them. Outsiders may not understand the differences between domination and actual abuse, but community members are quick to point it out.

This is crucial to keeping kinksters safe, especially when some abusive people may confuse BDSM practices with abusive relationships [ 28 ], and may use domination as a way to abuse a partner. Thank him for opening up with one of his fantasies. Consider if this might be something you could enjoy or would be willing to explore with him. Or is it a hard pass? If this is ultimately something you just cannot get down with, then your partner will need to respect your feelings. Perhaps you can come to an arrangement where he can experience BDSM with outside partners. In this case, the two of you may simply not be compatible.

Resentment can build on both sides. For some people, being a dominant or a submissive is less of a role they play and more of a personality trait. For some people, not being with a partner who is a domme or sub is a deal breaker see the above FAQ. However, it simply takes time and practice to get used to dominating your man. One thing that can help is to require him to call you by a specific name during a scene, which can help you get your head in the game.

You may also have a nickname or other instructions for him. Certain outfits, costumes, or props may also be useful to this end. Some submissives wear collars during scenes to achieve the right state of mind, and you can place the collar on your partner when the scene begins. You may have a different collar for playtime or simply have your partner wear his all the time. You can be a loving domme and reward him for good behavior versus being tough and punishing him.

See the section about finding your flavor for more information. Generally no. This can lead to a risky scene or a negative experience that forever colors your opinion of kink. Learn your tools, and practice your skills. Do appropriate research before buying or using tools.

As the domme is your responsibility to take charge of the scene and take care of your partner. However, you can explain that these fantasies are common, kinksters can be healthy, and this can enhance your relationship it if might change his mind. Perhaps plan your first scene s to the minute, so you both know exactly what will happen.

There are more tips for your first scene above. Pick what works for you and your relationship. Although you might be in charge or inflicting pain on your partner, the scene should benefit both of you. Choose activities and outfits that you feel comfortable, sexy and powerful in.

Simply wear and do what you would do as a dominant instead of imitating a cliche. There may be a little awkwardness or a few giggles in the beginning, but you should be able to perform comfortably and enjoy yourself as you gain experience. Hurting someone, especially someone you love, is hard to do. Although it happens less frequently to dominants than submissives, it can still be alarming.

Note that top drop can also include the physical symptoms listed in the article above. Find ways to care for yourself after a scene, perhaps with the aid of your partner or third party, to minimize top drop and make the return to equilibrium easier. I put together this in-depth, step-by-step instructional video that will teach you how to make your man sexually addicted to you and only you. It contains a number of oral sex techniques that will give your man full-body, shaking orgasms. If you're interested in learning these techniques to keep your man addicted and deeply devoted to you as well as having a lot more fun in the bedroom, then you may want to check out the video.

You can watch it by clicking here. Boy is it fun! I have recently be exploring this with a male partner since I have learned that I am more of a switch. However it is long distance and while in person I feel like I know how to do this fairly well, I could really use some pointers for portraying this in conversations. Any help would be greatly appreciated! I have a problem, both me and my partner are submissive by nature. He wants me to dominate him. I used to be closed minded about it, realized I was stupid and have tried to get better.

Issue is I have a difficult time enjoying it when I dominate him. Talk to your man! Let him know how you feel. Help, my sexual partner of 4 years has taught me so much , he released my inner freak. Where can I learn to do this properly? Not too much on the web about choking a male during sex that I could find. Hello; It is sooo easy. You nag him every day to pick up after himself. You see him take a peek at another womans tits.

He doesnt open the door for you. Just get him tied up GRAB him by the balls and start squeezing until he says he is sorry then if you believe him make put some cuffs on him and get a nice foot massage if he balks kick him in the nuts…itswhat he wants right. Oh dont let me even get started about his internet porn put a cock lock on him and no more of that. This was incredibly helpful! I end up making a fool of myself and embarrassing him as well.

Thank you! This has helped me make a huge mental leap! He is scared of pain, but he always gets in fights. I honestly think he is scared of his friends. Letting him know that he ultimately has all the power thanks having a safe word is a good start. At some stage remark that he likes pleasing you. Ask him to prepare a bowl with some epsom salts so you can soak your feet; ask him to dry them and rub in some body or hand lotion.

Make him feel that everything he does for you has a little reward if only a kind word. Gradually increase the range and scale of things … one day do his nails as a treat and buff them, or when he has washed your feet and rubbed lotion in ie. Notice if he has gone hard. Tell him that you are very happy he is making such an effort.

Build his confidence that his willingness to please will be rewarded. When walking down the street take his tie for a few seconds and pretend to lead him as on a leash, then give him a hot kiss in his ear and tell him you love him. Come up behind him while he is at the sink or stove and put your hands on the front of his hips and press into his bottom while giving him a lick on his ear.

Tell him that you love that he wants to make you happy. Use pleasing rather than serving as the word to guide him. Sit in a chair away from the sofa and ask him to sit beside you while you talk. I really hope he comes around. Once he does he will see the term pussy whipped is not a bad thing actually it is awesome. Im totally ok with it, finding it exciting, but have no idea how to bring myself to the point of doing it. These articles are helping me greatly! I am just beginning this road with with my fiance. I will try the blindfolding out and maybe tie her to a chair?!

I am having such a conflicting time , maybe someone here can give me some advice? The other day my boyfriend confessed that he likes a dominant woman in the bedroom. So I need some ideas on what exactly I can do to try and be what he is into. Maybe joke about that here and there to make yourself comfortable. A question: what did confuse you most in the way he asked you? And how, as a girl, you would prefer to be asked by your partner for that kind of thing or suggested if you prefer. So the question is how to push her to switch roles sometimes? I find her openminded but maybe shy to take control.

Sometimes I like to be in control,other times,controlled. Me and my boyfriend have been tiptoeing around the the idea of switching roles. I need help. I made my wife cum 4 times in about 10 minutes yesterday from performing oral sex on her. I asked what what she was thinking of? She said that she fantasized about hanging me from the ceiling and whipping me to death! To hear this was the biggest turn-on of my life. What about for the man to be more dominate when my wife want go be a sub, how to improve as a dom. Wife want to explore an i will please her by being more dominate, the kinky stuff is new for me i have always been Vanilla.

We went from having sex great sex all the time, him eating my pussy OMG!! I just wish I knew what I did. Ive asked him whats going on. All yes answers.. Please, please help me. Ive tried your blow job and yes he said I did good that was once he let me give him a blow job. I asked him once hey let me suck your dick.. Please, just tell me wht you think? We discussed our boundaries and all.

Any advice For that?? My man loves when I take control. Telling him what, when, where and how reallllllly turns him on. Tying his hands to the headboard and putting a blindfold on him really turns him on. I then start putting his rings metal on his shafts 1 at a time. After about 3 hours I will allow him to fuck me, but only after he begs repeatedly. Dirty talk is a must!! We are both totally spent after our weekend romps!! It sure keeps the spark alive. Get rid of routine sex and get to controlling him.

My husband used to be dominant in bed. We switched a couple of times a few years ago and I loved being dominant. I quicky learned his weaknesses that make it impossible for him to resist. He cannot resist me when I wear a sexy pair of boots and now he kneels on command. Although I do not smoke, I discovered that he finds a women smoking seductive — so I have an occasional cigarette and order him to light it and then kneel.

I love to place him in tight bondage and watch my strong man struggle helplessly. I also love to deny him and order him to please me! My formally dominant husband is now my submissive and he now wears an engraved collar. I LOVE being dominated by a pretty woman. Especially being pinned down, sat on, facesat with her clothing one, ie; Panties, shorts etc.

Slapped a bit, all that good stuff. Ladies, if this is something you enjoy, take it upon yourselves to try it. Youd be surprised how many men are into it, yet reluctant to bring it up in the bedroom. I am new to this! Whay brought me to try it out was a friend and I were talking one day and we got on to the topic and then I started to research and read more on it.. Over the weekend I had a few drinks and I was feeling good..

Each time you add in a little more dominance. Equally, you can try being more dominant by being a bit drunk, but slightly less than last time. Then slightly less again the next time. And so on, until you are being dominant without being drunk at all. This is so helpful! I have 2 men wanting me to be dominant, my husband and my lover. I can play the part in texting and a little in person, but I feel silly, like I want to laugh.

Anyway, both of them just always want me to ride their face and my lover has told me he wants to be my slave and fuck boy. I want to please him so much in this way. And btw, I totally think giving blow jobs is dominant.

Turning Point: An Erotic Tale of Female Domination Turning Point: An Erotic Tale of Female Domination
Turning Point: An Erotic Tale of Female Domination Turning Point: An Erotic Tale of Female Domination
Turning Point: An Erotic Tale of Female Domination Turning Point: An Erotic Tale of Female Domination
Turning Point: An Erotic Tale of Female Domination Turning Point: An Erotic Tale of Female Domination
Turning Point: An Erotic Tale of Female Domination Turning Point: An Erotic Tale of Female Domination
Turning Point: An Erotic Tale of Female Domination Turning Point: An Erotic Tale of Female Domination
Turning Point: An Erotic Tale of Female Domination Turning Point: An Erotic Tale of Female Domination

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