Steering Your Marriage: A Guide to Navigating the Road Together


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If you really want to see if you can save your marriage, then being honest is non-negotiable. Or ever. Being honest takes work. It takes guts. It may even take professional help. Hence, another reason to get a therapist! But it is an absolute must if you want your trial separation to be anything other than a ginormous, painful waste of time.

You have to be honest with yourself, too. You may have been telling yourself for years that everything was going to work out fine. But, deep down, you know you just want out. Or maybe not.

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Whatever the truth is, now is the time to face it. Karen Covy is a divorce advisor, attorney, author and a divorce coach. She is committed to helping those who are facing divorce get through the process with the least amount of conflict, cost and collateral damage possible. Hi there my name is sherry. Im from ohio. Am thinking about a legal seperation. My husband is in prison to me i already consider our marriage a trial separation.

What do you think. Whether you turn this into a legal separation or a divorce depends on you. Otherwise, you may end up having to go through the legal process twice for no reason. My wife and I have been together for almost five years, married for almost four. We also have a 17 month old son that is the absolute light of our lives. Recently, I have left my job and industry I was in, and have taken a significant pay cut. My wife also lost her job around the same time, and there was a period of time where she was searching for a job but was unsuccessful and just now got back into the workforce.

She has pointed out that I have attitude problems and I snap irrationally when we talk, or at times I remain silent when she tries to talk to me. I should add that most of the time when she gets in her snappy moods, she interrupts me all the time when I try to talk. Also, there is all sorts of pressure from our families about when we are going to get a house for our son and ourselves. I have thought about telling her that a separation would be the best thing for us, mostly for me to work on fixing our credits and working on myself personally so I can try to be a better husband and father.

Not to mention, she has all her family here, and my family is about miles away. So a separation would most likely hurt me the most, as I would have no family to fall back on. She has also said that if we do separate for any reason, I would never see my son again under any circumstance.

She also will refuse to go to therapy under any circumstance. What do you suggest I do? Hit the back button now! My heart goes out to you. I also hear quite a bit of feeling sorry for yourself. So, what to do? It starts with you! YOU have to step up and work on yourself. You can learn it! You and your wife also may want to try marriage counseling. That, too, can dramatically improve the communication between the two of you. So both of you could learn a lot in counseling.

As for your credit — why do you think you need to separate to work on your credit? Is that really true? Go talk to a credit counselor and find out what you have to do to start to repair your credit.

Steering Your Marriage: A Guide to Navigating the Road Together

Then start doing those things! Finally, with all due respect, you are NOT in a position to buy a house now. With both of you in career transitions, and given your current credit situation not to mention your shaky marriage buying a house is the WORST thing you could do! But you have so much more potential than you think. You are stronger than you are letting yourself believe. Do what you need to save your marriage. Will it work? And any improvements in communication that you and your wife can make will also help you even if you get divorced.

Talk to a lawyer. Hi Sherry, My wife initiated our separation and moved out. At first I wanted to try to work it out together. Now the roles are reversed. If I had to make a decision today, I would say no. Oh my! Discernment counseling is limited scope counseling. It only lasts for 4 — 6 sessions. It is specifically designed to help couples decide whether to stay married or get divorced. I highly recommend that you and your wife try it.

But you may want to point out to her that, if she does think moving out was a mistake and she wants to make your marriage work, this kind of counseling can help a lot. Also, there is no shame in needing a little professional help to get your marriage back on track. After all, if it was so easy to do by yourselves, chances are you would have already done it. How in heavens name are you supposed to work on your marriage when you are at odds about everything?

Right now a little professional help could be the difference between saving your marriage, or ending it badly. I am from Ohio and me and my husband are not legally separated. I am willing to go to counseling and make things work,but he is unsure rather he wants to make things work or even unsure about our marriage. He believes he is single and is able to do what he wants. I am not sure what to do or how to act towards him. Maybe the question you should be asking is not how you should act towards your husband, but how do you feel about him?

As for the question about what you do now, it seems to me that your options are to either continue to live as you are, or to move forward to change your life. I know this may not be what you want to hear, but your husband is already acting like your marriage is over. Again, sorry. I wish I had something more positive to say. But, seeing the truth is usually better than denying it and living a lie.

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Or a third option would be to stop accepting that shit and let him know he needs to decide to be with the other girl or be with you. Believe me when someone sees that they are truly about to lose you they will know the time for BSing is up. You are beautiful and worthy and you need to remember that. He may or may not be a good man going through some confusing times but he will keep going as long as he can because you keep letting him do it.

Decide what you want, what you need and all he can do is step up or hit the bricks. I hope that helps. Be brave woman! There is a man whether inside of him or out in the world that matches and wants what you want. My wife wants a legal separation because I drink at night. Well I quit cold turkey and she still wants out. I thought we were doing better. As for your wife, you might want to try marriage counseling.

Or you can work on your marriage in other ways. I wish I had better news! Hello, my husband is bipolar and has had an on-and-off cocaine addiction for about 20 years long before I met him. We also have a toddler together. He is very successful, owning 2 companies, but his work life is extremely stressful. We have been in therapy together, per his suggestion, since January. However, he had told some of business partners that we were separated, which was news to me.

This was about 6 weeks ago.


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I have been going to therapy twice a week to work on myself and try to make sense of the situation our therapist specializes in couples dealing with bipolar disorder. I love him dearly and he is a good person deep down, but he has some serious issues. Thanks for your time. What I can tell you from a more practical perspective is that going to therapy yourself is the best thing you can do. You are also going to need to have a whole lot of patience as this plays out.

You can, however, control yourself. I understand your financial concerns. Maybe you need to find a job. Maybe you need to pick up a few classes to re-tool your skills so you can get a job. You also need to start thinking about what you want for yourself and for your son. If you want to stay married, it will be a lot of work. It will take time, energy and money. If you want to get divorced, it will also be a lot of work.

It will take time energy and probably even more money. Unfortunately, there are no easy answers. All you can do is your best. Hello My wife and I have been together for 30 years and married for Over the last 3 months we have been sleeping apart in the same home. She is in meno pause stages and she she if fed up with living my life and needs to find herself and what she needs to do with the rest of her life.

This has a complete blindside to myself. We never had the best communication but I thought she would come to me with any issues. We are both seing therapists to deal with this and are seeing a marriage cousilor soon. I love my wife and this has been very hard living apart the last 3 months. How much time does one give? Thanks Mike. Trying to rush it will only make it take longer. I was just using that as an example. You may reach your breaking point after a few weeks or months. How long you can stand to be living apart in this situation depends on you.

Hello… My situation is a doosy.


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I have admitted that I am in a mess. Let me explain. Hopefully you can answer as you can with your expert advice. Let me start by saying I love my husband and do not hate him. I also want to admit we are separated because of myself right now but it is due to his actions along with mine. Last year we moved away from home and closer to some of his family members. His mother does live with us and has since the beginning of our marriage pretty much.

Anyhow, we moved away from Indiana to Kentucky to be closer to his sister. I thought this would be a positive thing and kind of talked mt husband into it. He had his doubts but I figured we had each other and the kids we would make it. Well granted he works 2 hours away from home and to begin with I worked an hour and a half.

He comes home every night. Well last year in every sense of the words he had an emotional affair, lied to me, and hid a lot from me. It was all an emotional and mental drain for me. Well I gave him an ultimatum in December because I was sick of it. I felt awful for it even though to me it was a lack of respect and disregard for my feelings. Well to me I honestly think he checked out on our marriage. Well in February I was just sick of their relationship still being the same and I erupted one day and finally got the nerve to approach this woman. I get a phone call from her boyfriend about how my husband got this woman a sentimental gift because her dad was dying and it was a gift that he linked with his own childhood.

Now as this panned out a week after this and me screaming at him that I wanted a divorce when I heard about the gift I was a mess. I flipped out and he showed me that he does not talk to her but honestly I was an emotional mess. Now come April I finally asked for a separation because I had sought advice from multiple people whom granted may have had ulterior motives but at the time I think they were just being friends at the time.

I reached out to an ex to ask about this because he had just went through a divorce. I was genuinely asking for advice and mind you as this conversation went on it may have been mentioned about other things but this was after I asked for a separation and I liked the attention. I was open and honest with my spouse and I told him about me reconnecting with another ex and told him that I may go out and spend time with these people when I went off to my class reunion. And this was also where my family was so i wanted to see my family and go to my reunion because I missed home.

Well one of the guys quit talking to me and I blew it off and continued to talk to one of the other guys as emotional support. I became emotionally connected to the feeling of just having a random conversation, trying to help him through his struggles, and make him feel better in turn he did the same. But it ended up that I grabbed a bite to eat with him and we watched a movie on his couch and it felt surreal and it felt comfortable.

Well for emotional support I reached out to guy B because I just was upset and wanted to just be told that I would be okay I think. Then I parted ways with him and talked to him the next day and we had a good time and it was uncomplicated. Mind you then I went to my class reunion and saw guy A after all this time and I did drink quite a bit and then we ended up talking and I tried to just tease him to joke around then I was going to leave. Well my plan soured when I ended up drinking too much and we ended up in a hotel room. Long story short everyone can assume what happened.

At times during this I remember him being intimate emotionally at times and it was all odd because I figured it would just be you know and mind you I did not plan to do this. It just happened and the perfect storm happened and it happened. Well he showed up in town and kind of scared the living crap out of me because he was mad now I understand why he was upset and I get it.

I am trying to just figure out what i want and this remains difficult because my mind is a mess. I am hung up on guy B more than guy A. I have been honest with my spouse about my feelings for guy B and he was not happy about it but says he can deal with it but I am not allowed to have contact. Feels like that is perfectly acceptable but I came home to him getting hateful, aggressive, his mother threatened me, and I am a big ball of emotions. His mother has trash talked me to his whole family, he has trash talked me to some of our mutual friends.

I see it as a show and he knows in a way I have just checked out of life in general I have been completely honest about this. I am jaded, hurt and I recently have been diagnosed with bipolar. I have not had time to process my feelings and he is trying to me manipulate me to go back to where he can be in control of everything and I refuse to have that happen. I used to be a positive happy person and now I am just a negative emotionally jaded low self-esteem woman who is trying to figure my life out. I just feel so lost.

I fear that I want to be alone. I strongly suggest that you get a good therapist AND a good marriage counselor. You have a lot of healing to do yourself. You and your husband also have a lot of things to work on in your marriage. Your husband would do well to get his own therapist, too. Also, know that, whether your marriage works out or not, the work you do in therapy will not be for nothing.

Whatever you learn will stay with you always. When you grow, you will take that growth with you into your next relationship. So taking the time to do that hard work on yourself now always pays off later. Happily married about Once she went thru menopause her personality has completely changed. She is super aggressive, abrasive, belittling in her tone and how she treats me. She has absolutely no boundaries when she needs to be tactful. We went to counceling and eventually our therapist informed us that she no longer needs to see me, only my wife.

Well that was it as far as my wife was concerned. She completely flew off the handle. So eventually I asked for a trial separation. There is plenty of funds to take care of individual expenses. She is completely against it. I packed a bag and I left. What are my options? You could also get divorced. In between those options, you could stay married and live separately from your wife for awhile in a controlled separation.

Or you could stay married and just live separately forever. Some people do that. If you and your wife want to work on your marriage you could try a different counselor, or try just working on your marriage yourself. If your marriage changes and gets better, you might not want to leave. All of these are options. That puts you in a decent position. Of course, the hardest part is deciding what you want, and then committing to move forward. I recently deployed about 3 months ago.

Before I left everything was fine I thought. We have been married just over 10 years. We have went to counseling and benefited from there to work out our relationship. I will give her all the space she needs during this time. The one thing that is heartbreaking is she said if I meet a nice guy and go on a date with him she will know what she needs to do.

If she thinks about me the whole time, she knows what to do. She says she loves me, misses me, and still sends me care packages. She has a lot of things on her plate, completing her masters, our child, work, and me being gone. I was definitely wrong. After some self reflection, I have not been treating my wife as she should be treated emotionally. I still send her flowers and congratulate her on things she accomplishs and I tell her I love her not in a pushy way.

What recommendation would you have in this situation? When you change, you bring a different and hopefully better version of yourself to your marriage. That changes your relationship. So, for now, I would start there. You also want to keep in contact with your wife as much as you possibly can. Talk to her. Ask about her life.

Be interested in her! Show her you care. But you do want to be around enough for her to know that you care about her and about your marriage and you want to make it work. Gently keep asking. Eventually, she will start to open up. Be honest. Hello, great article and advice, thanks. Over the past 5 years the Mrs and I have drifted apart. She no longer likes the same things I do. We have two young wonderful kids. She is a stickler for rules and that ends up causing issues between all of us. But advice I directly give her is not taken well and if I try indirectly she calls me passive aggressive.

She curses a lot even in front of the kids. She instigates arguments with strangers flipping people off in traffic, trolling people on Facebook, etc. Treat others as you would want to be treated. She drinks a little more than I am comfortable with. She threatens to leave us and she tells this right to the kids faces when they are not behaving for her. But she is stay at home and I work to support the family.

I like to take the kids on adventures. She used to go on them with us but never wants to anymore. I initiate any hand holding or kisses or touching. All these behaviors I find unattractive even though she is still a physically attractive person to me. I just want her to smile and be happy but I have no idea if she is capable of that anymore. I grew up in a loving household white picket fence style. She grew up in a broken home with a lot of physical and verbal abuse.

Several of her siblings and relatives are in and out of jail. Just wanted to type it up and see what a knowledgeable stranger would suggest. Thanks for sharing your story. But, what do you think that a trial separation will do? What are you hoping to accomplish? ALthough some people would definitely disagree with me on that! Then, when they ultimately do divorce, it looks like they were planning it all along.

Actually, they were. So, whatever you do, take some time and think about what you want and why you want it. Then be as honest as you can with yourself and your spouse. PS One more thing. Once you and your spouse are living apart, getting divorced becomes easier to consider. Separation is hard. Our marriage was the same. If I stick out the separation long enough he will just want a divorce I think. Is that a usual ending??? Sticking things out long enough for your spouse to want a divorce is NOT a good strategy for you OR your children. It sounds like your Husband is waiting for you to communicate with him and you are waiting for him to communicate with you.

What if, instead of waiting, you took the bull by the horns, decided what YOU want, and then went for that? Doing that is a much scarier, riskier course of action. It could very well lead to a divorce … or not. You never know! I realize your post to Karen was last August. I went through a personality shift too just like that in fact. I had Bartonella. It actually causes swearing and aggression in many people as well as depression, addiction, etc.

I with you the best. Great article. Two years ago I caught him cheating with his boss. He broke it off immediately and sought help. I forgave him and we moved on. But at some point I need to stand up for myself too and not be so co-dependent. My guess it is to have a healthy baby. So, for now, focus on that. Focus on bringing your child into the world in the best way possible. You will have a newborn to attend to, plus taking care of your 4 year old.

You will also be sleep deprived. None of that makes for the clearest head. Maybe you are. Does that mean you just hang out and stay in a marriage with a serial cheater forever? But it does mean that you have to be smart about yourself and your future. Remember, you will have two small children to take care of no matter what happens.

Taking the time to plan for a smooth transition for them will be wise for them, and better for you, too. Of course, if you still want to try to save your marriage, now would be a great time to do that, too. You can get yourselves in therapy. You can stop making excuses for him and ask him to work on your marriage and see what happens. But the question for you now is whether you want to live with those issues for the rest of your life. And, his question is whether he is ready to start dealing with those issues in a more productive way.

Will any of this work? Will your husband even want to try to save your marriage. What I do know is that with so much on your plate right now, you might have to do everything a little more slowly than you would like. Instead of beating yourself up about that, if you can accept that you are only human, and can only do so many things at one time, you will make this difficult time just a little bit easier. Thank you for the article. It has a great deal of information and provides a lot to consider.

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We have two children, 14 and Leading up to that point, we had a number of squabbles. We were having difficulty parenting our now 14 year old son. He is a challenging young man to parent, and my reaction to his behavior was not always positive and was not acceptable to my wife. The stress of this situation was erosive, in hindsight, to our relationship. My wife is 47 and is experiencing biological changes. I feel this, along with what I shared above, is having a double affect on our happiness. We have discussed seprating, but alwys come back trying to work it out while living together. It;s been two years now that we have worked on mending our relationship.

During this time, we sought professional help to determine if our son may have some sort of disorder — I was the driver towards to assessment of him. Turns out he scored low on the spectrum for ADHD. This alone helped my wife and I gain some clarity about how to better parent our son and thus potentially resolve some of our conflicts. We are about a year into this knowledge and things have gradually gotten better between us. However, and this is my dilemma, our level of affection has dropped off significantly. We no longer hug, unless I initiate it.

She rarely says she loves me, something I make a point to do, although lately I have been less inclined to do so. It ebbs and flows but mostly ebbs. My gut is telling me to makes this porposal to her, but, of course, it is scary at the same time. Anyway, any kind of insight, or advice is appreciated. Of course separating is scary! It will totally change your life. And, there are no guarantees that you will ever get back together, or that your trial separation will not turn into a permanent separation. I can hear howmuch you care about your wife. Have you tried helping her around the house?

Have you tried lightening her work load in any way you can? Your wife is tired! In your head, think back to what drew you to your wife years ago. Think about what you did to win her heart. You probably took her out on dates. You told her she was beautiful and meant it! You treated her like a queen. Do THAT again! Do it for months. All women do this, whether we mean to or not. If you listen to her and stop trying to woo her, you will lose her. If you stay the course and spend a good 3 — 4 months just being funny and charming and helpful and all the things you used to be when you met her, you may be amazed at the changes you see in her behavior.

If you do that she will not think you really care about her. That never works. I know all of this may sound a bit unusual. So maybe doing this will be worth a try! PS Obviously, this may not work. There are no guarantees in life. I have a chronic illness. My husband is an airline pilot. We have two grown children that are married and one 14 yr old daughter that we adopted at birth.

I have been sick my entire life with a rare genetic illness that is progressive. A year ago I found out that my husband was having a three year affair. It was during the three sickest years of my life. I was unable to parent or be a wife like I should have. I forgave my husband for the affair simply because I felt like it was my fault.

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I know my poor health has affected everyone in my family and in a negative way. My youngest openly defies me and my husband does nothing. He constantly undermines me as her mother and she takes full advantage of that. She wishes she could only live with her dad. At this moment I am seriously considering a divorce but there are so many problems to achieve that. Because my husband is a pilot, he is gone four days a week so our daughter would have no choice but to live with me during those days. So I can only imagine how she would be with me. Indiana is a no fault divorce state so no alimony.

I will be honest and say that if I could survive without being married then I would. So stop trying to make him change. The only one you can control is yourself. So start doing that. Put energy and effort into getting as healthy as you possibly can. Parent your daughter the way you think is best.

You will never be able to change that. But you can set an example for your other kids and do the best that you can do. I also suggest that you start working on yourself. You may not be able to change your circumstances right now, but you can change your attitude about them. A good therapist could also help you work through all of your emotions and perhaps start going in a better direction.

You might also want to check out some personal development material. Tony Robbins has done phenomenal work. He has books, tapes, YouTube videos and other resources that can help you change yourself. When you do that, you will change your world. I know that right now change probably seems impossible to you. I also know that making any kind of change takes time and effort and attention. But when you stop trying to change those around you, and instead focus on changing yourself, you may be able to make progress you only dreamed of before. Hi Karen, Thank you for a great article.

My husband and I have been married for just over a year. This year has been stressful because I was in my first year of medical residency working 80 hours a week, stressed, tired. Six months ago we had a tremendous argument about when to start having kids. It was bad timing for me, obviously, but I tried to entertain the idea because he was relentless about it. Thankfully the fights have not been as intense I stayed in a hotel after the first one , but it has been relentless- once a week.

Aside from occasionally agreeing his actions could have been better, he does not formulate a concrete plan for change. I have been direct about my needs but they are unmet. Thanks for your thoughts. You want to consider a trial of 6 months of counseling while you stay at home. Just you? Not that going to counseling is a bad idea.

I highly recommend it! I just want to reflect back to you what you wrote. I also want to ask you one question: What are you going to do if you DO get pregnant now? Can you imagine bringing a child into this relationship? Couples divorce. Parents are parents forever. Dear Karen, My husband moved out about 87 months ago and said we are separated. Back story is that my step daughter had mental health issues and was in and out of hospitals.

We have two small children together as well as my step son. While this was going on with my step daughter I tried to keep the fort down at home. I took care of our two littles and step son and tried to keep them happy. When my husband would come home from work or hospital from seeing his daughter, he had nothing left to give to the boys. This would cause them to act out. Now we no longer go to counseling and he has been out of house since March. Tonight I mentioned how I thought things were going foo with us all hanging out and maybe that was leading somewhere.

He said he never thought of us all hanging out as a family as time for him and I rebuilding and it was just about the kids. We have taken mini trips to water parks, going out to the beach for the day, gone out for day in boat, taken kids to play places ect. All great times. I still love him but I feel like my heart keeps getting broken again and again. I feel like I am getting blamed for a lot more of his feelings during our daughters hard time then I am responsible for.

I read what you wrote and can hear how torn you are. To have a healthy, balanced marriage, you both need to share power and share responsibility. Yes, that can be scary! To help you figure that out, it would be helpful to work with a good therapist. Also, you said you WERE in marriage counseling. If you want to work things out in your marriage, going to marriage counseling now would also be helpful. It sounds like there are a lot of events in your past which caused pain to both you and your husband. Those are things that you are going to have to work through.

A good counselor can help you do that. One of the hardest things about being separated is not knowing what the future holds for you. I totally get it. But the only person you can control is yourself. So rather than focusing on what you may be losing, and letting your fears control your behavior, you can focus on what you want, and start working towards getting it. Will it save your marriage? Either outcome is possible. The only person who can change that is you. So, the real question is: what are you willing to do to make that happen?

My husband and I have been married for 3 years and together for 8 years since highschool. We have 2 little ones and recently became separated about 7 months ago. We separated because he would become aggressive toward me while drinking. Never hit me but would shove me and get in my face and raise his voice and punch walls.

All this while our 2 year old was in room listening. I always put up with it thinking he would change and it came to a point where I got fed up when the last incident happened that I had to bite him to get him away from me and from being so scared I screamed for help. This was while we were living in our own apartment. From then on we have slowly started talking again and things seem good between us. Though we are still separated.

I have managed to gain some trust for him to start taking the kids out and bringing them home at a certain hour. And while being separated I did start seeing life as a single mom, getting a good pay job to move out of my parents and live alone with my kids. For the longest I felt like I was going crazy with these decisions going in circles in my head.

If nothing has changed, then shortly after you go back if you go back you will probably end up right back where you started. Is your husband in AA? How long has he been sober? Has he done any work on his anger? Is he seeing a counselor? How many times has this pattern repeated itself? Those are the kinds of questions you want answered before you can decide whether to go back. At the same time, you need to look inside yourself too. Fair to who? You absolutely do. No matter which way you go, it will be hard. But give this more time. Give yourself more time.

Start working through your emotions with a counselor. And try not to obsess about your marriage. That will only make you spin more. Instead, try thinking about what you want your life to look like in the future. Focus on your kids and your job. See how your husband does, and whether he can stay sober. That will tell you a lot. Karen, i came across your post by accident.

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I love that you let ppl express their issues openness and with not so much limitation. In my opinion, discernment counseling works really well. Remember, the goal of discernment counseling is to help a couple make a decision. It is not designed to steer them towards marriage or towards divorce. From what I understand, it has a fairly high success rate. And, by success I mean helping couples come to some kind of a decision about their marriage.

Hello Karen, I am not usually one to post but I was moved by some of your previous responses. I have been married almost 5 years together for 8. When we first met he struggled with binge drinking and anger management, however, prior to getting married he quit drinking completely with my assistance. This lessened his anger issues but did not alleviate them entirely. One day during an argument he became physically violent and pushed me to the ground — an action he said he immediately regretted.

We spent weeks sleeping in different beds, and had multiple conversations over a period of several months. I went to counseling, but made the mistake of not demanding that he go because at the time he was studying to become a doctor and had little told to devote to anything else except for us. That was 3 years ago. Since then, he was also diagnosed with IGA neuropathy and received a kidney transplant.

He was forced to end all communication with his family due to their poor decisions while he was ill — these events caused him serious depression for the past year. Since May of this year, we had been in a great place, he had attended an anger management class and was seeing a counselor from the VA. A month ago, during another argument, he had a dissasociative episode where he blacked out and head butted me causing my nose to break. We are each in individual counseling along with couples counseling.

The issue is — I am not sure I want to be in this marriage anymore. I posed the question of separation to him and he said he understands and would agree but I would also like to try dating without sex which he said he would not be okay with. My biggest fear is that I stay in this marriage out of the fears associated with divorce.

Unfortunately, neither of us have family and rely heavily on each other so just separating would feel like being isolated as we recently moved to a new state and I work from home making it challenging to make new friends. My biggest quarel is that I know my husband is truly a kind man. Those who know him know he would give you the shirt off his back. He is normally the calm one in our marriage and has helped me through some very difficult times, but he has gone through a lot in his life and has not dealt with a many of those emotions which has led him to this point. Ultimately, I just want to be sure that if I choose to stay 1.

Both my son and I are safe long-term, 2. I feel like trying a separation where I can meet new people is the only way to really know if that is what I want. I would truly appreciate your opinion on the matter given my brief explanation. First and foremost you have to do whatever it takes to keep you and your son safe. That means getting honest and getting real. You say you want to try dating other people — without sex. But you still want to be married while you do it.

You either want to be married and you commit to the marriage. Or you want to be divorced and you commit to doing that. But separating from your husband so you can see other people and see if you can make it on your onw and maybe find a new relationship is a cop out. The author addresses the fact that while relationships are typically difficult, at what point are they too difficult? Deal Breakers is about getting out of unhealthy relationships that you are only holding on to out of hope for the future. If one person refuses to work on their issues today, why would they decide to work on them later?

Hoping for change does not mean it will necessarily come. Bethany Marshall reminds her female readers that romantic relationships are similar to business relationships, in the sense that they are deals. If you are able to find your deal breaker, you will be able to understand where the relationship went wrong, how to make it better, and when to give up hope. This gives women the power to have the happiness that they deserve.

Some readers have found that this book is aimed towards people who are planning to divorce. It is a great guide for people who want to protect themselves financially if their relationship were to come to an end. Marshall talks about the practical aspects of protecting the family assets, and often reminds the reader that it is not her intent to provide psychological advice. This book has become one of the most well-known relationship guides in existence today.

It offers a practical and proven method to help readers better understand the opposite sex. Gray seeks to improve the communication in relationships by acknowledging the differences between men and women when it comes to needs, wants, and behaviors. The evidence-based insights in this book are sure to help you strengthen your relationships for the long term.

This classic book on understanding the opposite sex articulates a good framework for the generalities of men and women without making broad assumptions. Gray gives a lot of effective strategies for reconciliation, which is helpful for those who are in tumultuous relationships. However, some think that this book favors men, and gives them excuses to pass off certain responsibilities to women. This "must read" book does offer good insights, but in some ways, it seems to give men a pass to gloss over their poor behavior because "they are men.

This playful book explores the science behind choosing a great partner. Written by Dr. Ty Tashiro, this book pulls from scientific studies and research data to change the way people search for love. The research shows why people's abilities to make decisions usually fail when looking for a partner, and how people can make smarter decisions. How one decides to choose their partner in the first place has a great impact on their future relationship. Readers appreciate the wit and insight provided in this book that helps guide people towards choosing the right mate. This book includes entertaining anecdotes based on real-life situations, as well as stories that are backed by scientific findings to provide an accessible foundation to help singles find their soul mates.

This book explores the habits and secrets of people who are successful in all areas of their lives, including relationships. When one is able to have social wealth, they are more likely to be successful. Everything we do in our lives incorporates different people in some way. No one gets to where they want to be alone, with no help.

As you are developing your relationships throughout life, you need to nurture them so they can work for you. Try to get connected to people who can help you achieve your goals. Social Wealth provides a blueprint of the tips that people need to become successful in their fields. No one is born knowing how to do their job. Learned skills can only be gained while one is on the job and learning how a company really works. This is a great book for people who want to be social in their business endeavors, but need some direction. This book is written clearly and is easy to understand.

The concepts are easy to grasp, and the reasoning behind them is clear. Readers have also found the step-by-step instructions to be helpful. Sometimes in love, you need to work smarter , not harder. This book will show you how to work smarter in your relationship.

Addressing major issues in a lot of marriages, such as communication, coping with problems, and resolving conflicts, this book offers healthy ways to deal with these issues. Each chapter teaches the reader an essential skill that supports strong relationships and deeper intimacy. This new edition adds a chapter on using acceptance skills.

These new approaches work to help you accept both your feelings and the feelings of your partner without judgment. Using these techniques will help you figure out what you value in your relationship, and allow you to live your life with those values in mind. One way to have success in life is to learn how to make your networking and relationships work for you. This way, everyone wins. In Never Eat Alone , Ferrazzi explains how he was able to connect with the thousands of colleagues, friends, and associates that he is in touch with, and how he has helped these people, and how they have done so in return.

Ferrazzi's form of connecting with other people around him is based on generosity and making friends connect with other friends. The author clearly distinguishes genuine relationship-building from " networking. Throughout this book, Ferrazzi refers to strategies that are used by very connected people in the world. He also gives specific advice on dealing with rejection, bypassing gatekeepers, and more.

This book details the experiences of the author's 40 years of work in counseling and pastoral ministry to help improve other people's communication and relationships. Peterson offers a talker-listener card process, as well as listening techniques that can be used right away to help couples cooperate with each other. Readers have found that this book is an eye-opener. This insightful book is enjoyable to read as a sensible guide to improving communication.

This love and relationship book was originally published in , and has helped millions of couples transform their relationships into deeply satisfying ones. Getting the Love you Want includes extensive revisions to the original book, including a new chapter, new exercises, and new information that Dr. Hendrihas learned over the years. With their 30 years of experience as educators and therapists, they are able to reach out and relate to many types of people in all different kinds of relationships. Readers have found that the situations described in this book are very recognizable and relatable.

Even if you are not currently having trouble with your relationship, reading this book can help you realize that you are not alone in your struggle to get the most out of your marriage. This book talks about taking control of your communication without allowing anyone else to do so. Nick Morgan, a communication expert, discusses how humans are programmed to nonverbal cues such as gestures, signals, and sounds that all bring about an emotion.

He then gives the reader a clear framework for seven power cues that are vital for being successful in business and other contexts. This relationship book teaches critical skills, from gauging people's confidence to analyzing people's vocal tones and figuring out what your gut is telling you to do. The goal of this book is to help readers communicate better and command more power within their businesses. This book is not about relationships such as dating and romance. Instead it is about interpersonal relationships.

It teaches people how to communicate with others and effectively motivate people around you. The first thing it teaches is why traditional methods of motivation are ineffective. If you want someone to truly be committed to excellence, you have to know how to give people a profound sense of fulfillment. Applying her recent research, Fowler lays out a tested process for allowing people to motivate themselves so they will increase their productivity and have a sense of purpose. The techniques that are typically offered to motivate people make them focus on the reward or the punishment instead of their jobs.

The process laid out in this book shows leaders how to steer clear of the expectation for external rewards and help employees see how their jobs can give them a sense of satisfaction that is better than external rewards. This is a great book for people who are trying to learn how to motivate people better.

This book is both eloquent and accessible. Author Dr. Aaron T. Beck analyzes the dialogue of real-life troubled couples to show the reader some of the most common problems that occur in marriage. He addresses the power of negative thinking, disappointment, strict rules and expectations, and miscommunication. Readers have found Love is Never Enough to be overflowing with advice and exercises that can all work together to help save a failing marriage or improve any relationship. This relationship book is a good example of something that can help improve psychological suffering by addressing the source of many relationship problems.

This wise and down-to-earth book has the ability to help many marriages. This is a great book for people who tend to fall in love easily, but fear the intimacy that comes next. Once in a relationship, people often become sick of being reminded of their flaws, or disrespected by their partners in some way. This may make someone feel like they are too sensitive to be in a long-term relationship. Half of what determines divorce is actually a person's temperament. Without understanding, the fact that you are sensitive is probably having a huge impact on your relationship.

Readers have found that this book offers a lot of practical advice on making the most of personality combinations. Many readers appreciate the eye-opening self-tests and the results of a survey that was performed on sex and temperament. This is a great book whether your relationship is new or one that has gone on for years.

It gives a lot of great information for anyone who wants to find new ways to keep the fire burning in their relationship. This is a refreshing book about how to boost your marriage or long term relaitonship with simple acts of kindness. Petkovic speaks from personal experience when he details how he almost lost his own marriage before deciding to make a deliberate effort to make things work. This great little relationship book is the perfect reminder that even with our busy daily lives, it is easy to put our relationships aside.

It is best to not lose sight of the most precious things in life. It doesn't take much effort or time to make someone in your life know that you care about them. This dating advice book for women gives the reader a blueprint to understanding the male mind in order to help improve communication. The author is very energized and enthusiastic about the topic of teaching women how to keep their relationships strong with men they cannot seem to communicate with.

The author recognizes that everyone has a different story, but that many situations are actually the same. People have found this book to be an informative and easy-to-read guide. It is quick to get to the point and help women understand the way men think and act.

Steering Your Marriage: A Guide to Navigating the Road Together Steering Your Marriage: A Guide to Navigating the Road Together
Steering Your Marriage: A Guide to Navigating the Road Together Steering Your Marriage: A Guide to Navigating the Road Together
Steering Your Marriage: A Guide to Navigating the Road Together Steering Your Marriage: A Guide to Navigating the Road Together
Steering Your Marriage: A Guide to Navigating the Road Together Steering Your Marriage: A Guide to Navigating the Road Together
Steering Your Marriage: A Guide to Navigating the Road Together Steering Your Marriage: A Guide to Navigating the Road Together
Steering Your Marriage: A Guide to Navigating the Road Together Steering Your Marriage: A Guide to Navigating the Road Together
Steering Your Marriage: A Guide to Navigating the Road Together Steering Your Marriage: A Guide to Navigating the Road Together

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